Alright, folks, buckle up—it's that time of year again when Art Basel Miami Beach rolls into town! Picture it: the biggest, flashiest, most over-the-top art show North America has to offer, camped out in the Miami Beach Convention Center from December 6-8. Since 2002, Art Basel has been the main event for more than 80,000 art dealers, collectors, celebrities, and people who just like drinking free champagne while pretending to know what "postmodern abstraction" means. This year, over 285 galleries from 38 countries will be showing off thousands of artworks by artists you’ve probably never heard of, but will definitely pretend to know about after one glass of Pinot Grigio.
Of course, it's not just Art Basel—oh no! There’s Miami Art Week, a weeklong party/art marathon that includes more than 20 satellite fairs because apparently, you can never have too many gallery openings in one city. Tickets for Art Basel? They've got the whole range: from $10 to bring your kid, to $650 if you want to feel like an A-lister, which mostly involves getting into the same parties as the other ticket holders, but earlier. You can park in a $20 flat-rate garage or roll up like a VIP with valet service, because nothing says "I appreciate art" like paying someone else to park your car.
If you’re thinking of sticking around, the official hotels like W South Beach and The Ritz-Carlton are ready to take your cash—er, offer "discounted rates." The W is the go-to for people who like their beds with an ocean view and their lobbies with a casual Andy Warhol. Or try The Ritz, a classic spot with DiLido Beach Club for those who think the best way to discuss contemporary art is over a bottle of bubbly with the Atlantic Ocean as your backdrop. There’s also the Grand Beach Hotel, which will make you feel like you’re crashing at a friend’s super fancy condo—if your friend had two bathrooms in every suite.
So, break out your trendiest outfit, polish up your “art-speak,” and prepare to dive into a sea of art, parties, and more air kisses than you can handle. Miami’s ready—are you?
